I still enjoy writing in my Xanga even though the only people still reading it are die hard fans and out of touch undercover FBI agents. DID YOU TRANSLATE THIS AGAIN?!?! I have my final Eagle Board Review this Thursday and have to study hard for it but after that,no more scouts and no more...no car.Im counting the secomds till Summer an hoping its going to be everything i think it will.maybe a road trip,learn to play drums,work my ass off in the gym(literally) church camp, tan and fun every day.theres alot to live up to but hey,its summer. I had knee surgery Thursday and i cant like practice fortwo weeks so oh well.i miss the beginning of our school year this year and how i had NO idea what the year entailed and i wonder if next year is going to be that,enticing.

-ben

the sun came out and im actually smiling, im really really happy and i dont really know why. I actually am going to Tutorials and LEARNING stuff i am comfortable with my relationships if we keep having a blast but i wish i could meet some new people.to have more great relationships.Athletics is tiring and demanding but i think im giving it as much as i can.like today waking up at 7 after staying up till 2:30 doing that damn DBQ then walking to school in the freeziness and track work-out then 35 minutes of tutorials then a full football workout that was tough oh and freezing then this gay thing called school.if it wasnt for school i would get like NO sleep.i slept through French,Chemistry and Algebra which of course i learned nothing but thats what copyings for right?then after school 30 minutes more tutorials and then After After football workout then after that i went to BC and worked out there for an hour.then passed out when i got home for about three hours woke up ate some protein and a quessidilla.i miss those.i wonder if my schedule is helping me be happy or just i think therefore i am.i hope everyone else is doing wonderful,i really really do and if not then I was born to be a helper.

-ben

sigh,well Spring Breaks over,it was fun while it lasted but now i kind of want to get back to a schedule and the gym.and that whole "school" thing.i really really really hope i dont fail.that wouldnt be to cool.I hope i can still hangout with the same people that i did over the break now.theyre pretty cool cats.i just got done playing in the rain by myself for like an hour and dropped off some forms for my Eagle,i can taste it now.this break would have been SO much better if i had a freakin car to ride around in,gah.i loved this break weather,it was either sunny and cool or bright and rainy.im thinking seriously about moving to Seattle or some other rainy dreary city.is Baltimore like that?must have been looking at Edgar Allen Poe's workings.The idea of leaving this morbid town and starting anew in the big city is slowly making more and more sense to my delirious mind,i need to leave soon though before i start killing people.maybe Mexico might make me less mournful.(that was an alliteration ) man i really really wish i could have celebrated st patricks day for my Irish kin.But last night i just hung out with my brother and caught up on the ole days.My Grandad and Uncle drove down from Houston to drop off one of those loft beds for my brothers room(its like a bunk bed without a bed on bottom) then my mom left with them to go back to Houston so its just me and dad again.that means i have to fucking walk to school in the mornings.gah,last time i had to do that i was litterally late every morning.fuck.awwwwwwww Joey just came in from the rain and his hair was all wet and ruffled up,hes so adorable.ive written too much already but my wisdom teeth hurt even though i got them pulled tuesday.i wish i had someone to rub them now,well for that case i wish i had someone to do alot of stuff with.

-ben

Currently Listening (What's The Story) Morning Glory? By Oasis Champagne Supernova see related

Wow,i pretty much just woke up two hours ago and it still feels like im dreaming."Someday you will find me,caught beneath the landslide,of a Champagne Supernova." sigh.its hard to believe the weekends actually over already what the hell.but it was a good one,i got to hang out with two very good friends that i hadnt seen for like ever and some more that i dont see ENOUGH.curfew wasn't a probelm for once and my mom was actually stomachable.i learned a wise lesson and met some cool kats from rapevine,but they are assholes though,jerks.i would have done the same in their position.Im watching Spongebob Squarepants right now and its actually really comical.which reminds me i need to take down that Spongebob poster in my room.aww,Patrick just said "Who ate my candy bar?Oh wait,i did." and it...reminded me of someone i shouldnt be thinking about.but seriously if it werent for my friends this weekend i dont know what i would have done,Brent and Lauren yall really helped me,and Thomas you made me realize that it happens all the time and i need to not get so....destroyed about it. Erin im REALLY sorry lol.sigh,i wish things weren't so hard.

-ben

so much TROUBLE in the world.i have some very good news to start off with,yeah my iPod is fixed.FIXED!!!!!!wow do i know whats disgusting? Preparation H commercials,freaking disgusting.i mean it freakin goes on your butt.wtf.uhhh,school has gotten extremly stupid and gay what else is new.Mrs Blue (my french teacher) pretty much bitched at me in the nicest way possible today in class.OMG JUST F*CKING REPEAT THE QUESTION ONE MORE TIME,YOU ONLY SAID IT TWICE WHORE. i dislike her,yeah and french and school for that matter.i hope it gets cold again, im not ready to tan yet.so im watching Murderball,again,but its a pretty good movie.I think im going to fail horribly this tri.ha,Earthlinks commercial has a Leprechun......sigh.well i cant wait till this weekend cuz prolly like this week EVENTUALLY,ill get my Drivers License,FINALLY and prolly drive this weekend.and i just really need to relax and chill.like now.wtf is Vagisil commercials doing on public television.disgusting

-ben